What is #MarcMad?
Updated Bracket Here!
#3 Toscana
In the year 1982, David Paich wrote a song called “Rosanna ” that was eventually recorded by his band, Toto. It is a devilishly catchy tune supposedly written about a lovely lady named Rosanna. However, I think this song was written about the wines of Tuscany. I have written the translations below the lyrics so you can see for yourself:
“All I wanna do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes Toscana, Toscana. I never thought that a girl like you could ever care for me, Toscana”
- If you have ever had Maestrojanni’s Brunello di Montalcino you know this to be true. When you have this the night before, you want it again and again. And the wine is so damn good that you figure it could never love you back. But it does. It needs you as much as you need it.
“All I wanna do in the middle of the evening is hold you tight Toscana, Toscana. I didn’t know you were looking for more than I could ever be.”
- If there is anything as satisfying as a late night glass of Chianti by the fire I would love to hear it. The wines of Tuscany demand more of their drinkers however. Not any simpleton will enjoy these.
“Not quite a year since she went away, Toscana yeah. Now she’s gone and I have to stay.”
- Remember! There are specific aging requirements in Tuscany and the wines will have to be aged before getting to you. It will seem like an eternity. Ensure that you have some great Tuscan wines to drink while waiting for the others to be released!
“I can see your face still shining through the window on the other side Toscana, Toscana”
- Actually yes, the wines of Sangiovese are usually very bright and reflective, yet light in colour! It is like you can see the whole world through a glass of Chianti.
“All I wanna tell you is now you’ll never ever have to compromise Toscana, Toscana. I never thought that losing you could ever hurt so bad.”
- I am sorry that I decided to drink only New World wines for a short time. I know some of your producers comprised and began making their wine in a New World style to try and win me back. I didn’t realize how much I loved you until I started tasting those sweet high-alcohol wines of California. I love you Toscana.
Vote for the wines that inspire 80′s hits! You certainly dont want me to remind you that Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” was about Vin Santo, do you? Vote Toscana! (@jonathanwil)
#7 Loire Valley
I’m hunched over the computer with a runny nose right now. Puffy eyes, sore throat; the whole deal. I think I’ve been poisoned by the wines of Tuscany. In my delusional state, I’ve decided that a play-by-play of a Loire victory, NFL-style, is the only way to go. We’re also going to invoke the ghost of John Madden, because he and Al Michaels were such a great team (with all respect to Collinsworth).
——
Al Michaels: At the 2-minute mark, we find Loire with the ball at their own 20-yard line. Trailing by 5 points, Tuscany’s ahead 22-17. A touchdown will do it, John.
John Madden: And you hate them backed up like this, but if there’s any QB in the league that can muscle out a victory, it’s Sancerre. Did you see what he did last week against Bordeaux?
AM: Yes we did, a huge upset in the division! All right, team’s set up in the I-Formation, only Vouvray split out on the right side. Chinon passes the snap to Sancerre– play-action– and he lobs it out to Vouvray who’s covered by Vernaccia di San Gimignano at about the 50 yard line.
JM: I still can’t believe they fit all that on the back of his jersey.
AM: Still, a poor decision and execution by Sancerre on that play.
JM: He’s lucky that wasn’t picked off! Vernaccia’s had a hard season though, so Sancerre thought it wasn’t much of a risk.
AM: Of course we’re all familiar with the story: Tuscany lost the unheralded Trebbiano Toscana earlier in the month to a fractured cordon, so they promoted Vernaccia di San Gimignano and even traded for Orvieto and Est! Est!! Est!!! to fill out the void at Cornerback.
JM: Okay, here we go.
AM: 2nd down and 10, ball at the 20 yard line, Loire’s operating out of the shotgun this time. Vouvray split out on the right side, Muscadet in the slot, Rosé d’Anjou wide left. Sancerre takes the snap. He’s reading the field- oh! He throws a laser on a cross pattern to Muscadet who scoots past Linebacker Brunello di Montalcino, but he’s met by Stong Safety Vin Santo to be taken down at their own 40. Gain of 20 on the play.
JM: Clock’s still ticking and they’re down to 1:40, 1:39, they got no timeouts left-
AM: And we see the Loire hurrying to the line to presumably spike it; they do.
JM: No disrespect to Muscadet, but they need to get the ball into the hands of their big-play tight ends: either Savennieres, or Coteaux du Layon. These guys are future Hall of Famers and I can’t believe they’re on the same team!
AM: Perhaps coach Joly of the Loire will heed your advice, John. Play clock’s winding down, Sancerre’s ready for the next call– they run a draw! Pouilly-Fumé takes it off the Left Tackle, Saumur doing a great job picking up the SuperTuscan linemen. And he’s wrapped up at the 47 by Linebacker Morellino di Scansano.
JM: That brings up 3rd and short, but that clock’s still ticking. You can see a little panic in Sancerre’s eyes right now, but he needs to stay calm if they’re going to have a shot at this.
AM: He’s got his Wide Receivers bunched to the left, 3rd and 3 at their own 47. Takes the snap. Hands it off to Pouilly Fumé, oh! Vouvray takes it back the other direction on a reverse– picks up the first down, he’s still going. Carmignano and Vino Nobile di Montepulciano both over-pursued and are paying the price. Free Safety Chianti Classico doesn’t make the tackle but forces him out of bounds at Tuscany’s 40 yard line. A huge gain of 13.
JM: And most importantly, they stopped the clock. He had the wherewithal to get out of bounds, because with just over a minute left, they’ve got zero room for error.
AM: And just like you predicted John, they’re bringing in their two-TE set.
JM: Savennieres has delivered all season because you just can’t cover him! He won’t say much in an interview, but boy is he one tough son of a gun.
AM: Here we are, 1st and 10 on the opposition’s 40; 1:02 left to play in the 4th quarter. Loire trails by 5 points. A field goal will not cut it, they need it all here. Sancerre takes the snap, draw play for Pouilly-Fumé off the Right Tackle Bourgueil. Chianti Classico reads the play the whole way, shakes off Savennieres, gain of 4 yards.
JM: That’s not gonna cut it. You need to take chances this late in the game.
AM: Clock’s still running, 2nd and 6, ball on the 36. Still rolling with two Tight Ends. They’re really taking their time here, this could be costly. Down to 40 seconds. Looks like Sancerre’s changing the play at the line. Thirty seconds.
JM: They’re going for it all here. Play clock’s winding down. This is very risky Al.
AM: You said they needed to take chances, John.
JM: Not like this.
AM: The snap, Sancerre fires it over to Savennieres who burns all the LBs on a post- he’s got it at the 30, 20, the 10, Chianti’s on his heels, the 5, Savennieres extends the ball but is wrapped up and taken down — is he shy of the goal line? No time left on the clock, we’ll have the result either way.
JM: Wow! One of the referees is signalling for a touchdown, the other one’s saying too short — we’re going to have to go to the booth for this one.
AM: If he makes it, we’ll have an upset for the ages. Here’s a squad that was 4-12 last year, today they’re vying for a championship title.
JM: Yeah, Tuscany’s a perennial powerhouse, but they’ve lacked gusto in recent seasons. They lean on Chianti just a little too heavily for my taste; all they’ve drafted are international varietals who’ve yet to take on their system.
AM: Well put, John. I think they’re ready for the call on the field.
Referee: After reviewing the play, the receiver did penetrate the plane before his knee hit the ground. Touchdown.
AM: There you have it! The team is storming on the field, swarming Savennieres with hugs and cheers! The rest of the coaching staff dousing Coach Joly with a barrel of Gatorade. This is truly a remarkable day for the Loire. Final score 23-22, Loire over Tuscany.
JM: You said it Al, a feel good story if I ever saw one.
(@writersblanc)
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